That's So-o-o-o-o Bay Area

After listening to Live 105's morning show for quite some time, now, I feel that it is time for me to list my Bay Area moments. That is, these are things that could only happen in the Bay Area, and if you were to mention them to anyone else in the nation, they would probably assume that you are from San Francisco. I probably think that they are funnier than they actually are, but, being from the Bay Area, what the hell do I care, I am more important than you anyway.

1) People who constantly talk about how horrible it is that so much of the world is downtrodden, but who wouldn't sacrifice their soy-mocha-half-caff-zebra-vente-with-a-shot-of-wheat-grass to actually do anything to help anyone else.

2) A person on a street corner selling a socialist workers newspaper. I am a member of the working class, shouldn't you just give it to me?

3) Having the owner of a corner store tell you that they keep the steel wool pads behind the counter otherwise they get shoplifted by people who burn it to melt the crack in their crack pipe.

(nCr alert)
4) Having a person tell you that "war is not the answer", and that we should "never have gone to Iraq", while simultaneously lobbying that we should "free Tibet". How, exactly should we do that - harsh language? Because China sure has responded well to criticism in the past, boy those political prisoners are being freed left and right aren't they. Freeing one oppressed people is okay, but not the other, especially if George Bush made the decision. Which makes me wonder, if George Bush freed Tibet, what would happen?

5) Watching a person in a BMW drive by while smoking a joint with one hand, using his cell phone with the other, while his passengers seem to feel completely comfortable with this turn of events (that happened yesterday as we walked to a Mexican food place near thecraftsman's house)

6) Overhearing someone rant about globalization and the evils of capitalism as they sip their Starbuck's, get out their iPhone, and get into their Prius, all of which are products or symptoms of capitalism and/or globalism.

7) Hearing someone talk about how open-minded California is, only to have them shout you down when you suggest that we might not all share their opinion.

8) Having a mayor who proudly proclaims that we are an "asylum" city for undocumented persons, who then wonders why an undocumented criminal was never deported, even though the asylum policy has been in place for years, and part of that policy is not checking immigration status for anyone, and then abruptly changing that policy, but somehow still claiming that we are an asylum city.

That's enough for now, they have started to get more whiny and less funny, I suppose that is an outgrowth of me residing so near San Francisco, as well.

But I will add on the "So Reno/Las Vegas" section below, because, damn, some weird sh-t goes down there.

1) There is an add on television for a plasma center that says you could earn up to 250 dollars a month donating blood... to help pay for school and things, not your gambling habit or meth addiction.

2) You can get in a nice discussion with the bartender who is a recovering alcoholic and gambling addict while he serves you drinks and you play video blackjack (granted, the drinks were diet Pepsi - damn Atlantis doesn't serve Coke - but he was still the bartender).

3) You think, "Wow, I've only seen a couple of strip joints and porno shops on this block, this place has really cleaned up a lot."

4) There is better pornography lying on the streets and being handed to you on the corners then there is available for purchase in your hometown.

5) You are neither unnerved nor surprised when the table next to you at PF Chang's has two pimps and a couple of prostitutes discussing business deals over a light lunch.

That's all I got for now, but, in retrospect, I visit and live in some weird cities. But I guess people are self-absorbed and narcissistic everywhere ... God knows I am.