Nerd vs Geek, etc.

No political/social screed today. I just want to revisit a topic mentioned by my good friend supergoober in his blog (BTW the mere mention that you have a friend that exists outside the online world and can exist independent of your goob habits lowers your goob rating). There are a number of different terms that tend to be used in such discussions, so I will attempt to define them. I'm assuming, supergoober, that you steered clear of using these terms and favored "goober" because of the varied connotations of many other terms. I am not, by any means, the absolute authority on this, but I am relying on my memory, personal experiences, and a little bit of word origin research done many years ago. Feel free to check the veracity of any of these, I am not going to chase down word origins online. I am just arrogant enough to believe that I am right, and just lazy enough to not actually want to check (not to mention that looking it up would diminish my nerd status, something I cherish). So here we go, in no particular order:

1) Goober - This is actually a term for a peanut in the southern US. I think it comes from an African word (ngaub or ngoob or something like that). I remember hearing it a lot in the late seventies during Jimmy Carter's presidency. Since he was a peanut farmer, the word got bandied around a lot when I was in 4th grade or so. I remember it being applied, not to someone smart or nerdish, but to someone ineffectual and foolish. It seems to be, in slang terms, an outgrowth of Gomer - an idiot (albeit a lucky one), see below. Obviously, I would dispute the use of this term as it applies to us. A goober is someone who is stupid and socially awkward but is regarded with some favor by a "normal" social group, someone extremely out of the norm, but not able to fit in but lovable enough to get some positive attention. Goobers, along with Gomers, are typically mascots and hangers-on to the popular group.

2) Gomer - as referenced above, a Gomer is an affable fellow who is harmless and funny, principally because of his stupidity and lack of social skills (Well, golleee, Sarge!). I am almost positive that it is a reference to Gomer Pyle, USMC, and that the TW show is the origin of that word. I suppose it could have been a preexisting slang term that the show writers chose to name the main character as a descriptor, but I don't think so. Gomers tend to be lucky as well, and they fit in the mainstream mainly because of their likable demeanor.

3) Spaz - short for spastic, refers to anyone who has physique or physical capabilities significantly below average. Generally, when we were in high school, the spaz had little control over his/her physical movement, couldn't play sports, could easily be picked on by bullies, etc, etc. In short, for those of you who know me, I was a spaz in grade school and high school, but grew out of it. This moniker is seldom applied out of high school, as most young men could have the term applied to them as the result of a growth spurt or puberty, and once they get accustomed to being in their bodies, they cease being a spaz. As it is so universally applied, it does not have the biting effect that many other monikers do; many people called each other "spaz" when they had a spastic moment, whether it was due to excessive caffeine or sugar intake, or whether it was because of puberty.

4) Dork - I remember hearing that dork actually meant "whale penis" but I have no verification on that (I could get up, walk six feet, and grab my dictionary, but I refuse to do that; that would be accepting defeat, somehow). Similar to a spaz, but worse. A dork combines social inadequacies with physical miscues without any redeeming intellectual qualities. Many nerd hobbies like RPGs and LARPing get lumped in to the dork category, and rightly so, as these hobbies attract all socially awkward people, not just the smart ones. Just go to a gaming convention, and you will find a cornucopia of dorks and nerds (plus a few spazzes trying to find their identities). Dorks tend to overshadow nerds, just because of the bell curve. In an even distribution of the socially awkward, a fairly small percentage of them will be of above average intelligence (assuming there is no causal or correlative link between intelligence and social inadequacy). Thus most "normals" view dorks and nerds interchangeably, and often assume intelligence where there is none. Couple this with the tendency of dorks to overinflate their self-esteem by feeling that they are out of the norm because they are smart (even though they aren't). I believe that dorks tend to do this out of a psychological self-defense. To admit to yourself how dorky you are, and not have a good reason would be crippling to one's self-image, so they fabricate a narcissistic reality where they actually are better than everyone else. That is a dork.

5) Dweeb - I heard, in 8th grade, that it was a shortening of the phrase "D--k With Eyebrows". That is, it was a way to call someone a d--k without getting busted by the teacher. It is usually applied to people who just don't fit the mainstream, usually deliberately. In the 80's, it was applied to the "New Wave" kids - the ones with Flock of Seagulls hairstyles or Cyndi Lauper colored hair, weird clothes, etc. This was never applied to the Heavy Metal/Pun crowd - they were "dirtbags", "scum", or "punks", but was briefly applied to the follicle-ly challenged hair metal movement. It never caught on there, because it really does fit with the "New Wave" crowd best. Bono from U2 used to be a dweeb before joining the mainstream and becoming a legit rockstar. I have suspisions that the word Dweeb may be somehow linked with Dweezil Zappa, but I have no confirmation whatsoever on that, I just remember that he had a really weird name, and seemed like kind of a dweeb to me.

6) Geek - this moniker is erroneously applied to nerds and dorks, but has no real use in those contexts. Calling someone who is a nerd or a dork a geek only points out your own ignorance, and, yes, the nerds will laugh at you later when you call them geeks (well, any nerd worth his salt will). Geeks were originally circus performers with no particular skill other than the ability to do something no one else would (bite the head off of a chicken, for example). Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne are famous geeks (though this is something of a misnomer as well, since they both have a modicum of talent in other areas as well). To be a true geek, you must be willing to sacrifice every shred of decency, self-respect, and integrity for money, attention, and/or fame. The best example of current geeks are the group from Jackass. While many people mistakenly think that it takes no particular talent to be a geek, I would argue that fact. I think it is a peculiar kind of talent that is willing to injure or humiliate themselves for other peoples entertainment. Yes, anyone could bite the head off of a chicken, or zap themselves in the groin with a tazer, but not just anyone would. That is an important distinction. It takes a particular talent to prostitute oneself effectively, and that is not something everyone could do. Contemporary porn starlets, by my definition, do fall into the geek category. Anyone could do what they do, but not everyone would. It is this quality that makes the geek a commodity and, ultimately, can lead to their success and popularity. If geek shows were really as valueless as people claim, we wouldn't have them anymore, would we?

7) Nerd - This term combines social awkwardness with a level of learning about an esoteric topic(s). Many people attribute a level of intelligence or native talent as well, and I think that is acceptable as part of the definition, but the key element is the social awkwardness and immersion into subcultures very far out of the mainstream. Usually, it is the social awkwardness that leads to this distance from the mainstream. Someone who is smart and out of the mainstream has nerdish tendencies, but may not be an actual nerd. To really be a nerd, social interactions outside of your realm of expertise or hobbies are painful and difficult. To compensate, many nerds attempt to become masters at many different topics, in the misguided and mistaken belief that it will help them fit in. It seldom, if ever, does. Because of the level of intelligence required (even if it may not be social intelligence) nerds tend to camouflage well. They learn the social skills required to fit in and adapt to the real world, but never quite find the perfect home there, and thus are drawn back to their coven of nerds. Some nerds learn enough and become social enough to completely discard their nerdiness, but cling to it as some vestigial but ultimately useless appendage. They convince themselves that they still are nerds, but they have abandoned the things that make them nerds. They feel the pain that nerds feel, but it is more like the pain that amputees feel in their missing appendages. To be quite honest, I sometimes worry that I am falling into this category, but I think that as long as I am worried about losing nerd status, that must make me still a nerd, right? Please, I need some nerd affirmation, I'm getting desperate here ;)



Socially, nerds, geeks, spazzes, dorks, etc. band together in a mutualistic attempt at self-defense. It is not uncommon to find a varied group of these social types together; it is the same as many different natural herbivores associating on the plains of Africa. As long as more of them are together, they are safer from the predators. If the weakest one gets picked off from the herd, they will be defended until it is no longer practical to do so. Once the victim is done for, the group abandons him/her to his fate, hoping that this will satiate the needs of the "normals", "norms", or "normies". The wounded individual will eventually rejoin the group, lick his/her wounds, and think no worse of his fellows, knowing that he would have done the same, because the only real defense that they have is in numbers, and that the more of them that group together, the lower the probability that they will be picked on individually. They view it as their sacrifice, being picked on only one day instead of every day. With this kind of mutualism, the group can thrive, and eventually go on to become supervisors, managers, and CEOs and wreak a horrible vengeance on all the normals. Either that or they go on to become supervillains.

Johndrake 6

"If you see Kay, tell her I love her"