I remember now

So, I remembered the funny thing I was going to mention, and its a lucky thing, too. I was half asleep this morning at 8 am (late for me, I know) and I sort of played through a mini story in my head that I thought would make a halfway decent joke. I should have written it down then, because in my sleep adled state, I often come up with halfway decent ideas, but if I don't write them down, I forget them - a common occurence with dreams, I understand. Anyway here goes - just a little joke, I'm using G.W. Bush, but use your favorite elected leader of any nation, and the joke will work just as well:

So President Bush wakes up the day after the election, and remembers the elation he felt the previous night when he realized he had won. He decides, as head of state, to have a little fun with his powers and kind of rub it in to those Europeans who always have that snooty attitude. So he starts by getting on the phone, and he tells the operator, "Get me the queen of England," and the operator dutifully obliges. The Queen comes on, and Bush says, "So I'm sure you've heard that I won, and I think, just to honor your traditions of monarchies over there, I'm going to change the official title of the USA to 'Kingdom'."

She responds in her very prim and proper voice, "Well, Mr. Bush, I'm afraid you can't do that, you see you were elected, so you are not a king."

"Hmm... I guess that is so, isn't it. Maybe I'll call it a, ah, whatchacallem, a 'Empire' - that has a nice ring to it, don't it?"

Again, in her most proper tone, "I'm afraid your not a emperor either, Mr. Bush, so perhaps you should reconsider the whole renaming thing."

"No, no, no, I love the idea, and I have to celebrate mah victory," and his brow furrows and he thinks for a while, and finally exclaims, excitedly, "I've got it - I can be an 'Principality'."

"I am afraid not," the Queen responds, exasperation sounding in her voice, "you aren't an prince, either. Perhaps you should just stick with 'country', I think it describes you best."


It works better out loud, I think that it lacks the impact in print, and in case you didn't get the joke because of poor delivery on my part, say, out loud "kingdom, king, empire, emperor, principality, prince, country, and ______, just fill in the blank... If you still don't get it, well, there's no cure for stupid ;)